Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
