she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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