I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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