Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
