You smell like stripper and shame
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
