you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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