My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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