omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
