babies were throwing up all over the place
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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