We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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