accomplished twins. life is a go
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
