so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
