yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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