We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
