yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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