i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
