Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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