i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
