I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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