So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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