its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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