Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize