I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
