so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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