I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
