love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
