The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
