I can tuck mytits in my pants
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I have fence marks all over my body
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
