whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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