i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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