don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
