i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
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