just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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