I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
