doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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