remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
