you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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