I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
