my sisters under your porch take her home
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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