but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
