Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So much rum. So many feels.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
