Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
