I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize