I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize