In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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