NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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