What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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