i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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