I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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