Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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