oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize