Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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