it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
