I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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