I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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