8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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