O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
