Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
