i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
