You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
